James 4:6
God resists the proud,
But gives grace to the humble.
God resists the proud,
But gives grace to the humble.
I had been meditating on this
virtue called “Humility” for some time now. I knew that I’ve been a person who
has had constant struggle with walking in humility as I was known (at least at
home) to be someone with a high self-esteem, someone who is quick to judge
others and someone who would grumble when asked to help with boring chores. I
knew I needed help in this area and I looked up the Scriptures on humility and diligently
noted them down for some in-depth study. But God knew this weighty matter was
not something learned through notes, but through experiences, and was orchestrating
some situations that brought out my arrogance and pride.
Here’s a backstory of how God
helped me learn some of the most difficult lessons I’ve learnt in life:
It was a wonderful night, when we engaged in some casual discussions as a family, talking about how God has been faithful in the past and how God can turn around the circumstances that we were going through. The reminiscence of God's marvelous ways and sharing of perspectives and opinions with each other has always reinforced the family bond. At some point during this lovely time, my mom asked me to lookup a word in the dictionary. Not wanting to take my phone, open Dictionary app, type the word and then lookup its meaning, I let out a sigh and said, "Do we need to lookup this word right now?" and added that "it just wasn't worth the time and energy". My mom, who is always brutally honest and unhypocritical, criticized me for acting so selfishly. I started debating that I saw no urgency that warranted the immediate lookup of the word. And then followed a stream of harsh words that I didn't want to hear, explaining how I was behaving like a spoilt child who's too focused on comforts and never thinks about others. To an outside person, I was always behaving well and was helpful, but inside the four walls of my home, there were occasions when the rays of my selfishness and pride had escaped through the crevices (and I was blind to see that!), as I sometimes vent out suppressed stress or feelings of hurt on the very people God had placed in my life to love and cherish. Every such instance was cited and my unpleasant behavior was questioned. Mom went on to emphasize that my writings on “overcoming self” were utterly futile, as I wasn’t putting them into practice. Although I didn't talk back audibly, I was resisting everything that was being said, in my mind. That beautiful family moment halted right there!
I spent the
night in tears, not reflecting on my arrogance and selfishness, but on thoughts
that were motivated by self-pity - recalling how I did not deserve the harsh scolding
for something as trivial as questioning the urgency of looking up a word in the
dictionary. I found myself innocent, and couldn’t see that deep down, I was
falling prey to my biggest enemy (pride), which was the first and the worst sin
ever committed and was also responsible for the hurling down of Satan from the
Heavens in the first place!
And it was the next day and last night's incident was still fresh in my mind, and I didn't want to discuss it with anyone, not even God. Dad called me a couple of times when I was at work, to check on how I was doing and if I felt better. I kept an indifferent attitude and restrained myself to not let out a single word in response to his questions, and bluntly responded with a "hmmm". Being compassionate towards me, he said that he had been praying for me the whole time, that I would perceive the whole episode of last night, as God's chastening. I was being too cold to care about anything he said. He also asked me to pray as God would teach me humility. I resolved that I wasn't going to ask God for help in this matter, thanks to my adamant belief that there was nothing wrong with me. I knew I was hardening my heart in the process, convincing myself that there was nothing to repent of, and was constantly rationalizing my behavior.
Looking back upon all this now, I learnt these important truths:
- Justification and self-righteousness are symptoms of pride.
- My pride can shut out God, even at a time when all I needed was only Him.
I suffered a loss of peace and a loss of focus at work. With no other option, I slowly let go of my pride and began mumbling a few words in prayer, pleading God to help me understand what went wrong and how I should've reacted in the situation where I was being scolded for something that I thought, was not worth being yelled at. After much struggle, I gave the reins of my thoughts to the Holy Spirit, and God began to reveal those subtle hints of pride, in all those instances when I was being nasty and arrogant. These then, are the lessons I’ve learnt:
And it was the next day and last night's incident was still fresh in my mind, and I didn't want to discuss it with anyone, not even God. Dad called me a couple of times when I was at work, to check on how I was doing and if I felt better. I kept an indifferent attitude and restrained myself to not let out a single word in response to his questions, and bluntly responded with a "hmmm". Being compassionate towards me, he said that he had been praying for me the whole time, that I would perceive the whole episode of last night, as God's chastening. I was being too cold to care about anything he said. He also asked me to pray as God would teach me humility. I resolved that I wasn't going to ask God for help in this matter, thanks to my adamant belief that there was nothing wrong with me. I knew I was hardening my heart in the process, convincing myself that there was nothing to repent of, and was constantly rationalizing my behavior.
Looking back upon all this now, I learnt these important truths:
- Justification and self-righteousness are symptoms of pride.
- My pride can shut out God, even at a time when all I needed was only Him.
I suffered a loss of peace and a loss of focus at work. With no other option, I slowly let go of my pride and began mumbling a few words in prayer, pleading God to help me understand what went wrong and how I should've reacted in the situation where I was being scolded for something that I thought, was not worth being yelled at. After much struggle, I gave the reins of my thoughts to the Holy Spirit, and God began to reveal those subtle hints of pride, in all those instances when I was being nasty and arrogant. These then, are the lessons I’ve learnt:
1. Humility is love in action - thinking of others first
Philippians 2: 3-8
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.
Jesus, who is our ultimate example to live
by, was ever ready to reach out and help the needy people; He was available at
ALL times to all who sought Him. Although He was the King of kings, He didn't
restrict access to Him by asking His disciples to setup appointments when
people wanted to meet Him or when they sought His help. If God - the Son, who
had the responsibility of the most important mission ever commissioned on earth
(saving mankind), was not too busy to stop by and attend to people's needs, no
one else has the luxury of blaming "busy-ness" as the reason for not
reaching out to people who are in need. At the very core of this servant-like
attitude is Love. When you truly love someone, you don't mind what time of day
it is, what kind of favor is being asked of you, and you instantly extend your
helping hand with a smile on your face. I learnt that pure love is always ready
to dive into action to satisfy someone's need (no matter how trivial it might
be) without asking questions to validate the urgency of the need.
2. Humility does not seek self-validation
I Peter 2:21-23
For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: “Who committed no sin,
Nor was deceit found in His mouth”; who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously;
Jesus, the innocent Lamb, stood in trial before the Pharisees and the people. Some bribed witnesses were setup for false accusations, but Jesus’ humility radiated through His meek and gentle demeanor, infuriating His adversaries all the more. He did not retaliate or even make an attempt to politely respond in His own defense, against those baseless claims. When Jesus (who is the epitome of true humility), who was the only truly innocent Man, sought no validation for Himself and never attempted to act defensively, how much more should we, who are indeed flawed, need to embody humility in our words and actions and not seek self-approval. It’s important to remember that God approves us because of Jesus, and not because of our good works.
3. Humility opens our eyes to our own flaws
Psalm 19:12,13
Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults. Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins; Let them not have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless, And I shall be innocent of great transgression.
The biggest problem with pride is that it makes us blind to our own flaws. It's a sad truth that when pride manifests in us, everybody else can see it, except us. When being criticized for our actions, it's easy to get defensive and play the blame-game, but it takes genuine humility to bring down that wall of defense, to allow ourselves to see our faults and to fix it through God’s strength. It's humility that paves the way for conviction of sin through the Holy Spirit and leads us to true repentance through grace.
2. Humility does not seek self-validation
I Peter 2:21-23
For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: “Who committed no sin,
Nor was deceit found in His mouth”; who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously;
Jesus, the innocent Lamb, stood in trial before the Pharisees and the people. Some bribed witnesses were setup for false accusations, but Jesus’ humility radiated through His meek and gentle demeanor, infuriating His adversaries all the more. He did not retaliate or even make an attempt to politely respond in His own defense, against those baseless claims. When Jesus (who is the epitome of true humility), who was the only truly innocent Man, sought no validation for Himself and never attempted to act defensively, how much more should we, who are indeed flawed, need to embody humility in our words and actions and not seek self-approval. It’s important to remember that God approves us because of Jesus, and not because of our good works.
3. Humility opens our eyes to our own flaws
Psalm 19:12,13
Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults. Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins; Let them not have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless, And I shall be innocent of great transgression.
The biggest problem with pride is that it makes us blind to our own flaws. It's a sad truth that when pride manifests in us, everybody else can see it, except us. When being criticized for our actions, it's easy to get defensive and play the blame-game, but it takes genuine humility to bring down that wall of defense, to allow ourselves to see our faults and to fix it through God’s strength. It's humility that paves the way for conviction of sin through the Holy Spirit and leads us to true repentance through grace.
